terrible asmatha driving off my wonderful slp. happen to wake up at 6 to peepee and now couldnt go back to slp. :(

yesterday lijie says : hazel ah, nw is 2008 ler. you and me are growing up. is time to cherish ppl who cherish you, cannot play around ler.

me: but whenever im serious terrible things happen. im always getting hurt.

lijie: then u got ask issit ur fault?

me: i dunno

well. nw i start to recall things. i rethink about lijie, i rethink about shawjun n mack. i belive is all my fault. but whenever things get better. i got hurt str8 away. so does this relation. but i belive this relation i really change alot alot then those previous 1. change dao i start to see myself no longer myself. is tat good or bad?

yesterday dad oso told me. he dont think i know how to take good care of myself. this is very very true oso. just take nw for example. im coughing badly. i still eat chocolates and icecream everyday when i dun even have a inhaler besides me. haha =x

sometimes i think im so stupid. i totally dont suits him. always thinks that his family standards very high. which i cant adapt. but whenever he says, i really love u very much. my mind starts to kill de thinking. but whenever i sees his mom. i will have this feeling. but he will kept reminding me the ans is NOT the way i think.

is true he is blur. is true he arent those very caring types. but in exchange he got so much things better. no1 is perfect in this world. he dont know things when u r hinting. he only noes it when u tell it str8 to him. but whenever u say it str8 to him. u can really feel the care and concern in him. even though he still can be very blur.

i can see how much he knows how to cheer ppl up but not me.
mayb like most ppl says. no matter how much u noe how to handle a sad person. but u will nv noe hw to handle the 1 u love and urself. how expereice u in a relationship. u can advise ppl till very godly but oso not with ur own relation. the 1 who always respect ur ans and cares for ur happiness is the 1 who truely loves u and leaves u with full of regrets. 1 who hurts u inside and outside is the 1 who always let u have de deepest impression. but u will nv nv wants to be under them again.

well, lets throw unhappy things aside! ^^

and now im still waiting for barby's mom ans regarding the chalet. and hope march im able to get to genting with barby and his friends. and this coming thursday which is 17jan having small acer show at funan 1st floor. as usual as last time. HAPPY FEET ALL DE WAY? lols i duno. hope not tat booth again. hard to get sales. im gona really chiong for sales this time. i nid CASH! =x neh always say chiong end up sure slack 1. lols whose fault? xD

ever since i stop eating chips. my dabian start to comes out everyday. YIPPEE. but complexion not tat good yet due to lack of slp. GAMBATEH neh! xD

and right nw my wt keep increasing and decreasing. this is TERRIBLE. will it like suddenly increase and nv decrease again? =x omg is going to be 7. i nid to make myself slp and HEHE!